alright so a lot of the time, ill be just sitting around or randomly thinking about things an certain words keep reappearing in my brain. these words have no significance to the thoughts around them, or anything for that matter. so i thought i should write them down and then they may be satisfied

1. Australopithecus

2. Platyhelminthes

3. Narragansett

4. Agamemnon

and those are the most common words of random, an ancient human form, a flat worm, a town in  rhode island, and a greek king. i just don't understand.

yesterday was carmens birthday, it was cool her mom and sister came up to visit her sister just had surgery on both of her feet so she was in a wheelchair, i don't know why i wrote that, but i had to work cause originally they were suppose to be coming up on monday but changed to tuesday and i didn't request it off because i usually don't work during the week, whatever, they came to eat at work which i felt kind of bad about cause if it were my birthday i wold have wanted to go to like red lobster or something but they came to my work, i sang for her and brought her a sunday cause thats what they do, we also had a sleep over and i was the first and last to wish her happy birthday

i want to do more for her birthday but david (her boyfriend) is coming again and he doesn't like drinking, not that that is the only thing we could do but we cant have any kind of party for people here and tell them no drinking, no one would come, but i made her a cd, i'm going to make her a shirt with an elephant on it that says "a persons a person no matter how small" cause she is small and then some kind of other things i don't know yet

i still haven't mailed my father and heather fromwork their birthday gifts, i'm getting so bad at this, i used to be somewhat good, whatever i suck

i have the worst kind of stress management ever, i just ignore it which is dumb, like ill go weeks with out checking my email because i'm afraid it will be something bad, however if i don't check it ill miss something resulting in something bad, i'm hoping that voicing (writing) it will be like a first step to getting over a problem is admitting it, we will have to see

now i'm going to be talking about evan smith, first thank you for helping me through my drunken pointless break down the other night your the best, second don't worry about not coming down i mean i was upset but there is nothing you could have done about it so don't stress, ALSO i did read you xanga and i want to say that i really enjoy reading you writing not just because i know you but i would enjoy reading it even if i didn't, thats weird but you'll just have to deal

i'm kind of jealous of my brother now, he got to go to europe with some really cool people, at fist i wasn't because it was a school thing with Ms. Cober who everyone loves but i don't really understand she is the latin teacher that we used to piss off (the only teacher i did that too, and felt bad as it was happening) but i got all As in latin due to extensive cheating, oh high school .... anyway i don't really feel pride in that it just is what it is anyway their pictures make it look really fun

alright done

"I've either got a mouth full of stories or a jaw full of teeth
with a writer's sense of style and a guitar full of strings
and tendency to believe it all.
I wasn't looking for love;
she wasn't looking for trouble.
But we found we found (but we found what we found)"

i left my phone and wallet at the apt. today, this could mean i need to wake up with more than ten minuets before the bus comes

there was once a time in high school, around the introduction of brand new where i wondered why there wasn't many girl singers (i liked) now i don't understand how that could have crossed my mind, there so many rushing to my mind now its ridiculous

i feel i have developed and unhealthy obsession with reality t.v. now that the writers strike took away everything scripted. mtv good for roband big, and the challenges, and they usually have random marathons of things like beauty and the geek and so you think you can dance, then there are all the VH1 shows to watch most all of them are good but i don't sit and wait for those so much, i have recently expanded to stations like bravo, discovery, and dabble in AE and TLC, bravo is amazing almost anything they show, discovery appeals to my science geek mythbusters, dirty jobs, and how its made genus AE only have gene simons family jewels, and TLC has possibly my most favorite new show John and Kate plus eight, i don't know why i wrote this or why they appeal to me

i'm so very tired but i don't have my phone so i wont be able to wake up for class, sad

every time i write in here i always think about when i first met heather and she and her roommate found her other room mates xanga and would read about all the things she hated about them.

i'm working GSA tomorrow night i hate it, its basically waitress without bringing the food to the table, so i just have to clean the tables and ask if people need refills, ALSO i have to close hate that we have this tiny little barbie broom that hurts my hands and we have to sweep the whole floor (carpet) the only good thing is we get tips BUT i'm so busy cleaning tables and refilling to talk to most people, and allot of people don't understand thing tip thing, i mean i wouldn't want to tip someone that just refilled my drink whatever

i wish my life was more musical, in the stranger than fiction way, i want to one day learn to play and instrument, guitar or piano either one just a life goal

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Are you the king of anything?
Harold Crick: Like what?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Anything. King of the lanes at the local bowling alley.
Harold Crick: King of the lanes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: King of the lanes, king of the trolls,
Harold Crick: King of the Trolls?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Yes, uh uh uh a clandestine land found underneath your floor boards.
Harold Crick: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Huh?
Harold Crick: No. That's ridiculous.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else?
Harold Crick: Like do I have someone else's arms?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well is it possible at one time that you were made of stone, wood, lye, varied corpse parts? Or, earth made holy by rabbinical elders?
Harold Crick: No. Look, look. I'm sorry, but what do these questions have to do with anything?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Nothing. The only way to find out what story you're in is to determine what stories you're not in. Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature, seven fairy tales, ten Chinese fables, and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's Monster, or a golem. Hmm? Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem?
Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Good. Do you have magical powers?

last night was rather eventful

david carmen boyfriend has come yet again to visit, he went to class with me and ironically it was about adolescent and growing up i felt alittle awkward because she kept saying things about how it was bad to get married young, it wasn't like she was out right saying "its bad" she would say things like "blah blah blah this could lead to a child rebeling and going off and getting married to young" so i felt awkward because i assumed he was thinking about himself BUT later come to find out, we were sitting in the living room and carmen comes in and he goes "yeah you should have been in class blah blah she was saying things you should hear" of course he didn't hear ANY of the marriage things and chose to listen to the 13 year old boy talking about how his parents are just two people and how he wasn't going to really listen to them, this way david could tell carmen to tell her parents off, draw your own conclusions

next carmen and i went tanning for 10 mins at sunchase it work well cant wait for the pool to be open but that mean i will get even less homework done.

then i showered and listened to some sweet tunes while my hair dried, we went to fudruckers for dinner because i'm convinced my roommates like to embarrass me and bring me to my place of employment in civilian clothes

then we came back and i straighten evans hair which took about 2 hours katie and andrea drank .... and then evan and i watched sleeping beauty, when katie got back at 2 in the morning she got pissed at me for watching it with out her but honestly it was evan and i who wanted to watch it and when was she going to watch it she goes out thursday through sunday

i woke up this morning and the body pillow was like completely rapped around me (not how i fell asleep) its weird because i never thought i moved a lot in my sleep but i guess i'm wrong ...

i really like the decemberists i keep coming back to them, i like how their songs tell stories and they aren't all the same kind of thing, no other band has a song thats a lullaby about irish gangs, and though most of their songs are about love its not in the traditional, i want you , i have you, i lost you, themes

i feel like i always talk bad about shannon but it really want as bad as it could have been, and i know now i'm not living it so it doesn't seem that bad, but we are friends i see her around campus she is in some of my classes we talk occasionally, i feel she was less and bad experience and more of an extremely unique character i lived with, i do remember all the bad things but it could have been worse is all i'm saying

my summer is already filling up, i don't really like this time of year for that because i don't realize how many plans i have made, and then i know my parents want me to work at home but i don't know when i would be able to, its funny how people will plan situations in their heads, like just then i was planning the fight i would have with my parents about that organizing all my points, "i have to many plans" "you don't want me to go through life with out experiencing all i can while i'm young do you" "i only have a little bit of time with my friends, how many people do you still plan trips with from highschool" ect.

so non of the UNCG people still hang out apparently kacie is trying to do her own thing i don't really know what that is i'm begging to think its the john dewer syndrome when your just so caught up in your image you don't really mind loosing friends along the way, scott has moved so he is M.i.A like paper planes, and of course leah farlows up at app. its just weird because i can just remember how purturbed madison and i would get at scott and all of them for always demanding so much of leahs time, but their time was short liked, they never really liked me anyway

its things like that last thought that make me feel like i'm slightly meaner

why do i always start out good and just when i'm ready to stop writing its after a bad note

i'm going to wear my new shirt going out tonight!! thats exciting i haven't worn it yet

"Is this it or could we still compliment
each other like colors in harmony that make
each other look brighter like we did in the start "